What can happen in a year...

I tried to start this post a number of times but could never find the right words. Nothing sounded right, no words could express exactly what I wanted to say. So out the window with formality and grammatical correctness. I'm just going to up and say it.

I love my life.

Last year, as most of you know, I was going through an awful breakup. I lost 15# in about a month because I couldn't eat or drink anything and my outlook on life was bordering on suicidal.

Then, two magical things happened concurrently. Even though I didn't feel ready and was scared to death, I put together my very first boutfit and took the seemingly very long drive down to Decatur to play in my first roller derby bout.

I also met a girl. No, not a girl. THE girl. And, unknowingly, she surprised me by driving nearly two hours to watch me play. Even though I was trying to work things out with my then girlfriend, even though I was a complete headcase... she still came.

I honestly don't remember much about that day. The bout went by in a blur of hitting and tutus and knee socks, punctuated by this amazing hug I got from the amazing girl I want to spend the rest of my life with.

The reason I'm thinking about all this is because last night's roller derby bout reminded me just how much I have in my life. I love my league. I love that I feel like this strong, beautiful, tough woman on roller skates, that my body issues go out the window as soon as that whistle blows. I love every single woman on skates with me - they have become family. I love knowing that each practice I get better, that each practice I get stronger and more sure of myself and my abilities.

And I love that through it all, through my multiple outfit changes and nervous tummies and "I don't think I cans," my beautiful, amazing woman has stuck with me. She loses sleep to support me, she's made shirts to support me and, most of all, she believes in me. She believes in ALL of me, not just the parts that are easy to believe in.

I couldn't be more changed from who I was last year and I am SO grateful for that.