Immediacy.

I have a problem with immediacy. I have always been the type of person who wants what I want and wants it now...now now now. I have an inner Veruca Salt who stops her feet and crosses her arms across her chest and taps her foot until getting her way.

Unfortunately, as you can imagine, that desire for having everything immediately has far-reaching and negative repercussions in my life.  Most recently, I'm seeing how that effects my weight loss goals. Any minor setback makes me strike out and over-eat so, instead of just gaining the 0.2# that I originally gained, I gain 2#. It's a vicious cycle, made worse by the fact that I actually pay for Weight Watchers.

I try so hard to fight it, to just tell myself how temporary the uncomfortableness is, how small setback does not equal failure. Even with a supportive girlfriend telling me how beautiful I am and how much skinnier I look, it's hard not to just cover my disappointment with more food and say the hell with the scale and my diet and how much I weigh.

Constant need for immediate gratification is exhausting. Not only does it put me at odds with my (embarrassingly non-practicing) Buddhist nature, it also wears me out and sets me up for failure and disappointment on a near daily basis.