Love.

Christmas is over and I'm just now settling into the realization of how little money I have left over after the holidays. I'm working two jobs and just barely scraping by, trying to pay off a student loan and get right again after the turmoil of last year. I wanted so badly for my daughter to have a good Christmas this year, since we spent last year living out of two different houses and dealing with the emotional fallout of my previous relationship.

Today, we are in a much better place emotionally. We had the best Christmas I can remember in my history of the holidays, with and without Caitlin. I've developed a love and appreciation for myself and my body, for cooking good food in my house instead of ordering out all the time and, most important, family.

Without my family, I don't know where I'd be. I know I talk all the time about Jenny and it probably gets disgusting, but she is my rock. She knows how to "handle" me better than anyone and can talk me out of every nuclear situation I get myself emotionally into. My daughter is my sweet, crazy, loving peanut. She can always make me laugh and she gives the best hugs.

And my family, well, they are amazing to say the least. My dad is the best shoulder one can ask for and I can always count on my sister to be there for me (usually to slap the shit out of me when I need it). My mom and I are trying to get closer and I have a lot of hope that one day she'll be the mom I want her to be.

Then there's derby. I never thought I could get along with so many women! This holiday season, they've proven to me just how much of a family they really are.

I may not have much money, but I feel rich in love. It's all new for me so forgive my gushing.

If you're reading this, I probably love you.