Priorities.

My life is fast paced. I used to have an odd, obsessive compulsive urge to empty my DVR; to keep it as bare bones as possible. Anything over 10 - 20% full had the possibility of sending me into a panic attack, deleting programs (mostly my girlfriend's, which drives her crazy) until the level gets down to a more manageable amount.

Today, my DVR is about 60% full. I rarely watch TV anymore and, when I do, it's mostly just on live in the background while I try to clean and organize in my rare "downtime."

My house has definitely gone on the back burner in terms of importance. There are dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor and papers on the kitchen table. Although, at times, it does tend to stress me out, I look at it like the physical proof that I'm putting myself and my family first.

I grew up in a clean house. I mean, clean. Spotless. My mother was not the type to put up with messiness and, as a result, I never had to do my own chores. I never vacuumed right, etc. So she did everything herself and ended up making me feel like I couldn't do anything right.

But it is what it is. I'm 30 years old now and blaming my parents for my issues seems less and less cute the older I get. Now, my house is either messy or clean. Neither one has too big of an effect on my self esteem. I'd rather snuggle with my daughter on the couch or cuddle up against my girlfriend in bed before she goes to work than do the dishes or fold the laundry.

Priorities, priorities.