After a long, tough day at work I decided to come home and take my usually very misbehaving puppy out for a solo walk.
Usually, when I'm alone, I tend to lean on technology to stay out of my head. Sometimes it can be a scary place and I don't usually have the emotional bandwidth to deal with all the rush of thoughts that can float around in there when I let them.
Today I decided to let them in. I put on Pandora and just enjoyed the walk. It was interested because, instead of judging myself, I let the thoughts come in and leave without judging them. I also learned something things about me.
For instance, when I was younger, I used to think I was an extrovert. It turns out that I was (and am) really good at fooling people into thinking I am... faux extroversion if you will. Truly, I'm an introvert. I like being on my own. It isn't antisocial; it's more that I enjoy observing people from the outside.
The problem with that is that people view me as being antisocial, hard to make and keep plans with. I think that I push people away because I'm afraid of people seeing my vulnerability.
Anyway, the dog was good and I learned some stuff. I'll be doing that way more often.
