Atheism and religion.

Tonight I was blessed to attend the Baby Fold's "thank you" night as part of an amazing team of caring, loving people who regularly donate both money and time to the organization. I truly had a great time, mingling with the "fancy" people and eating a pretty superb (and definitely not diet friendly!) dinner. I listened to all the stories of people touched by the Baby Fold, people whose lives were changed immensely by a helping hand, a shoulder, and an ear.

However, it struck me as the night went on how inclusive the Christian community is. I sat and listened to these wonderful people talk about how they were called by God to volunteer, to adopt, to donate... and how they hope their message serves to continue to preach the word of God to the people.

I am an atheist. I identify as a Buddhist but I do not believe in God. I was raised in the Apostolic Church, attended a few services at Eastview (although most of the time I snuck out with my friend to College Hills Mall) and made the choice, as an adult, to not continue with my faith. It wasn't a single moment that made me "doubt" God; it was the sum of my experiences and my scientific background that made me not believe.

That doesn't make me a bad person. That doesn't make me any less caring, giving, empathetic or compassionate... I truly love people and want to help all of them (sometimes a lot more than they care to or are willing to help themselves). I couldn't help but sit there and wonder how they would feel about me if they knew that I was a non-believer (or gay, but that's a whole other story). Would they adopt to me? Let me foster? Think less of me?

I find that religion is such a polarizing factor in people's lives... most people who would be classified as "bigots" believe they way they do because of religion. Religion is what drives, say, the Westboro Baptist Church. The majority of the people who have been discriminatory towards me based on my sexuality have started the conversation (or attack) with their faith and justified it by quoting scripture at me.

To me, religion is personal and should continue to be so. I hold no judgement towards someone who practices their faith, whatever that faith may be, quietly. The problems becomes when they chose to take that faith out into the world and use it to justify hatred and intolerance. Why not just live your beliefs instead of loudly preaching them (mostly to the choir to begin with)? Why travel to another country to try to convert people? Why blindly follow a book instead of challenging your own beliefs and finding out why they mean so much to you? It's "because I/the book/Jesus/God said so" mentality... the mentality our parents use to get us to come home on time or eat our dinner. I see no logic in that and, most of the time, it hurts more than it helps.

And isn't that the point, really? To help people, to learn, to grow... to be part of a greater global community? If left to their own devices, most people couldn't even get out of their own driveway.

Social networking and self esteem.

To help raise awareness for a pretty terrible bill being snuck through under our noses (CISPA - look it up if you haven't!), I voluntarily took a 24+ hour hiatus from Facebook. At first, it was difficult. I didn't realize how intrinsically my finger pressed that little Facebook icon on the home screen of my phone or how much time of the day was taken up with social networking. Then, after a few hours, it became a little easier (although I did notice at least 4 different times Facebook started to pull up before I even realized I had pressed that stinkin' thing!).

The most surprising side effect of my hiatus was that, toward the end of the day, I started noticing that I felt more at peace. Calmer. I realized that a lot of my self esteem - having people validate how funny I was or how cute the self-portrait/picture of my girlfriend/kid/pets/etc was - was derived from that artificial "social" website. It also reminded me how little human interaction I have with a lot of the people on my friend's list and how much of a recluse I've become since retiring from derby.

It's weird that something that has become so prevalent in our society can be so insidious. We start off trying to find a way to connect, to make new friends and end up letting it overtake our lives. I know, personally, I'm trying to cut down a lot of my daily checking... it's become such an omnipresent thing in my life and I don't like how it makes me feel.

So, tonight, I'm going to go out to Flat Top with my family. I'm going to leave my phone in my purse and truly enjoy my time with those closest to me... and I hope to spend real life time with all of you soon too! Hit me up... you know my number! ;)